all over

so high school is different. i've already started into my second week. i feel quite inadequate at this point, but luckily i have a pretty supportive teacher who is encouraging me to just stick with it- it just seems lame that i'm so afraid. but i have to speak completely in Spanish, and that's a bit difficult considering how long it's been since i've had to be "fluent" (think Spain 2007). the kids aren't quite as receptive but i think they are warming up to me, thankfully. i do feel like once we start this new unit that i am creating it will be pretty straight forward, and i can have a lot of fun with them. i'm so ready to be done with all this! although too i will admit that once i get my own classroom i will probably have no idea what i'm doing.
funny quotes of the day:

Teacher: Can somebody look up "nail"? Mischievous Student: "Hmmm, here's "to nail". Teacher: Um no. just nail, thanks. (class laughter ensues).

Said by student, in Spanish: I have some good and bad news. I am going to be a father.

over

it's hard to believe that 8 weeks have gone by since i wrote my first blog about my first day of student teaching. i have no idea where or how the time went. but it has. i have learned so much in such a short time! i have learned that i love middle school. i LOVE it. yes, i am excited to move on to the high school level, but somehow i know that my heart lies with the junior high age group. i have learned how to teach and classroom manage, and make relationships...all those things that classes just can't teach you. and today, i truly realized the reward of investing in kids' lives, reaping the benefit in my own.
my teacher threw me a surprise going away party for my first two periods, my 8th graders. i was so humbled by her generosity (she had to provide food and drink for 120 people!) and her thoughtfulness. the kids of course loved it, and i got to hang out with them and have some fun time! they're crazy, and i love it.
the sad thing was my 6th and 7th graders. they had JUST started to warm up to me and bond. it's a bummer that i couldn't further that relationship with them. i realize that my time at the school is up, and i'm moving on, but it's so difficult to forget and let go of things that have had such an impact on your life! the true joy of teaching IS those relationships. not caring about grades, perfection, strict rules...it's caring about the KID. it's so much more than just about Spanish or whatever you teach. it's about LIFE and loving on people. and yeah, i think i can get on board with doing that with my life. i am so thankful that i got put with who i did, and where i did. what a blessing!

some things

the Lord is faithful.
always.
He provides. He has never shown me anything different.
Why then, do I get so anxious?
the Lord is our healer. no matter the past, the Lord receives glory. perhaps that's why those who have "pasts" shine the most for Him. because the distance from where they've been to where they are now magnifies Him that much more.
it's beautiful!
the Lord only has our best interest at heart. no buts about it.
sometimes we just have to move to see what God's will is for our life.
life is good.

updates

still loving teaching, although i'm exhausted right now- but that is because i started planning and teaching FULL days. after monday, i was so overwhelmed i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. but already into day 3 and i am pretty used to it. i only have 2 weeks left at my current school, which saddens me deeply. i've just begun to form relationships with these kids and i'm not ready to leave and have to start all over again so soon!
here is something i have been thinking about- i am often so sure that i know what i want when it comes to certain things. i can be certain that things are meant to be one way or another and that i am in control of my own destiny. well, friends, let me tell you that this is just foolishness. i have humbling days (like today) where i realize that i have no idea what exactly it is i am looking for or what exactly it is i want, or rather what i need. that scares me (because i like to be in control). if i don't know what i want or what i need/what is best for me, then how will i know when it comes along??? yes, this is where faith comes in. and, like our good pal steven curtis chapman writes, "faith flowed like a river free and deep, and grace was not so hard to be believed but that was YESTERday...and what was close enough to touch now seems a world away..." lots of times our (my) faith wavers. so i'm realizing faith isn't having answers and believing that's what you'll get. faith is not knowing and believing the Lord will take care of you anyway.
working on this.