random things

i am sitting with dear friends at hastings and we are having fun just basically saying whatever comes to our mind. OK, I am having fun saying whatever comes to my mind. they are studying (trying) and i am bringing up stuff. it's pretty funny. i sold a book today on half.com. i really need to figure out how all that works. i guess i need to ship the book? yeah that would probably a good thing i think. at least they give you a grace period of a couple days to go get that done. i am excited though because i am going to put a little encouraging note in the package for the person i do not know, you know like "hope you have a great semester". so fun! and yeah, nerdy ok? so what.
i love my job. i love my class. my middle schoolers are just the best people in the world, even when they are being "struggles". also, my job is good for my self esteem. that sounds shallow. but it is so awesome and touching to hear your students shout your name in the halls or at lunch or after school and WANT to say hi to you. it makes you feel so valuable like maybe, just maybe you're making some kind of a difference in their lives. also, they say nice things to you. it's so cute.
i am in what i am calling "the waiting game". i have some big decisions to make here in the next couple of months and i am extremely apprehensive about making any of them. i would really love to have more of a "nudge" in a certain direction, but i'm afraid that i'm not going to get it from the Lord (is that called doubt?). But maybe i won't because He wants me to go in either direction and neither one is right or wrong. i don't know how i feel about that. i just feel like there HAS to be a right and wrong decision. i think i'm realizing that this needs more prayer.
i have an addiction to diet dr. pepper. it's reached monumental proportions. i decided today that i'd be willing to give up all other desserts (except cake on my birthday!) in lieu of being able to drink diet dr. pepper. yeah people. it's that good.

yep

so i would say that i got my first, REAL teaching experience today, as i had to conquer (yes, conquer) the 2nd period eighth graders because our team teacher was sick and my cooperating teacher needed to go to the assembly we had today. not only did i have to teach them all by myself, but i had to do it for an hour and a half which is almost equivalent to eternity with middle schoolers if we're going to be honest. BUT, the good news is, it went fine. luckily, the 2nd period kids are studs and while they are a bit chatty, they are funny and they actually do care about what's going on. plus, it never hurts to bribe with candy. i was so relieved that they were being so good, especially when one of the counselors came in looking for a student. she asked me if i was the only one in control at that point in time and i explained the situation and she was like..."wow. you are doing great. they are so quiet!" i was like thank you LORD that she decided to come in at that moment! haha. i was in charge of the 6th graders later, for a shorter amount of time (thank goodness). they were insane. our schedule was different today and it just freaked them out like none other. it truly was bizarre. also bizarre, in our advisory class some people decided they needed dating advice from my teacher and i....basically i had nothing to offer them except really? you're in 8th grade. wait a little while. of course, that doesn't interest them because they are just about DYING to have that girl's number so they can text them all the live long day. OH middle school. it's fantastic.
i am about to open my windows, crawl in my bed, and take a nap. it's a miracle.

review

well it has been approximately 10 days since i have been here....it is really amazing how many things can happen in 10 days. i am experiencing some very life-changing movements from the Lord. it's actually pretty dang sweet.
i'll tell you something that is not sweet though- hurricane ike. well ok, so it's sweet in the meteorological sense, and of the natural sense as it hurricanes are truly a phenomenon, but when people and property are being ruined...it's cool factor goes way down. especially when you know a bunch of people being affected! luckily, my best friend and her family made it out, but who knows what they will return to...they live pretty near the coast so i'm praying it's not so bad as they are predicting. my aunt and uncle decided to ride it out a little further (but ONLY a little further) north around lake conroe, so it will be interesting to see what kind of storms they get. we are supposed to even get torrential rains up here in D-town!
i'm running in a 5K tomorrow morning. this is going to be challenging considering i haven't run in over a month and i've been eating like a garbage can. or maybe just eating garbage. but i guess i don't have to run the WHOLE thing...maybe i'll surprise myself and do it anyway. my dad is running the 15K- he's much more ambitious and talented in the running arena. that whole race thing starts in a little over 7 hours which means i'm getting up in a little less than 6. bummer dude. the days of sleeping in are truly, truly over. thank you working full time. did i mention i don't get paid? right.
still, i love the teaching. i am in charge of the entire 6th grade unit next week. SCARY but awesome too. knowing that the partial responsibility of the students' success is in your hands is a little overwhelming. i'm up to the challenge of course, and the topic is "junk foods"- something i can totally get into. PLUS you could definitely use this as an opportunity to have a "hands-on" day where the kids actually bring in junk food. BRILLIANT, if you ask me.
so here's where my life's at:
God is good. Things aren't easy. But God is good.
Friends REALLY ARE His way of taking care of you, and encouraging you in a tangible way.
I'm learning a lot.
I'm teaching a lot.
I'm a mess mostly.
But God can still be glorified.
shweet.

realization

i have realized several things.

i don't have to go to grad school if i don't want to.
i can get a job when i'm done student teaching and that can be it.
if i really WANTED to go back to school in the future...i could.
no matter how much money i make, i will always have enough.
God uses me in light of myself...not in spite.
He always listens. ALWAYS.
Taking deep breaths really helps.
i love middle school kids.