nothing is sacred

so today my mom tells me that we need to pray for my cousin and her husband because they are having "problems". a shock to me really, because everything seemed fine with them the last time i saw them and their two adorable kids. (of course that's what everyone said about my family too and we all know what happened there). then my mom tells me that my cousin's husband has a girlfriend already and that they are separated. i know this situation all too well. and it rekindles so much anger and disbelief as to how this could be possible. this is one of those times that i went to the extreme. the extreme of "is it really worth it?" i know TOO MANY marriages that are failing (really my parents were enough to get me started) and i know TOO WELL the damage and baggage and constant struggle that comes along with it. my mom said it was worth it. maybe so, but i can't reconcile myself with that yet. my brother told me i shouldn't not do something just because i'm afraid it will fail. but failure in this aspect of life (marriage) is what i've come to know more often than success in those around me. that is just SAD. God created it and we corrupted it, just like so many other things. it's a total shame. my cousin and her husband have EVERYTHING...2 precious kids, a huge home plus 2 vacation homes, everything they could ever need. but that's not enough. what IS enough? what is the answer to the question "why is this pattern becoming familiar and commonplace?" its repercussions are anything but commonplace and i hurt for anyone who has ever had to go through separation and divorce or be a separation and divorce child. i'm almost 100% sure that the Lord had me go through the same thing so i can share my experience and help those who had no answers, no place to turn. and i will. i will do everything i can to show people, help people realize that 1) Jesus is always the missing piece, whatever it is they are searching for and 2) they are not alone. as for believing in marriage...i want to. i want to so badly. but sometimes i can't. and sometimes, that's probably okay. it obviously isn't in the plans for me right NOW. maybe it's not in the plans for me at all- that's fine. but if it is, i will hope and pray that the person i commit to is ready to try as hard as i will to reverse this terrible trend. it truly breaks my heart to know the pain this type of thing causes and is causing for my 2 little cousins, because i have known it for myself. keep my cousin in your prayers.